{ The Hoo Family }

Ah-moe (on Pluto)

Hoo Ah-moe, son of Ah-mooe, grandson of Ah-moooe ...

Born into the Pluto Royal Family as Prince Ah-moe, he has acquired the reputation of being the most stupid person within the family, as well as record holder of the "Most Irritating Person on the Planet" Award for many years. He was the first to be retained for 1 full Pluto-year (or 248.5 Earth-years). In the Royal Palace, he had destroyed several of the planet's precious artifacts, blown up towers and buildings, burnt down a section of the Imperial Library, and vandalised many walls and furniture, messed up the Royal Kitchen, sunk battleships, drove several Royal teachers mad ...

Finally at the age of 2.4, he burnt down the half of the Palace Main Hall, and the Royal Family had enough of him. Ah-moe was sent to a small town nearby to "become a ruler and protect the citizens", in the hope that such experience would make him more mature. That, he didn't. As the commonfolks say, he only became part of a ruler -- a splinter in the eye, a thorn in the flesh.

He went about creating lots of trouble in the otherwise quiet and peaceful countryside.

Married Ah-pui when he was 4 (a normal age for Plutonians), he has 3 children: sons Ah-moo, Ah-mo and then daughter Ah-mui.

Ah-moe holds many records in Pluto (none of them good though), including the most "impressive" one:
The person who had destroyed more property than any natural disaster.

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Ah-pui (on Pluto)

Hoo Ah-pui, origin unknown, family unknown, surname unknown.

Not much is known about Ah-pui. A butcher by profession in a small town, she lived in poor, unhygienic conditions, and was crude, uncouth, unrefined and unusually accusatory in her thinking and speech. If she thinks at all.

She met Ah-moe when he was on his rounds looking for things to destroy. When he went about causing destruction to the wet market, she was the only one to pick a quarrel with Ah-moe and challenge him to a fight (which she lost badly subsequently).

No one knew what attracted Ah-moe to her, but Ah-pui was made famous (infamous) overnight when Ah-moe asked her to become his wife to become Princess Ah-pui. No one knew why she agreed too.

But she did, and later bore him 3 children -- eldest son Ah-moo, next son Ah-mo and youngest daughter Ah-mui.

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Ah-moo (on Pluto)

Hoo Ah-moo, eldest son of Ah-moe and Ah-pui.

Like Ah-pui, not much is known about him in Pluto. Educated at the local town school, and being timid in nature, Ah-moo kept a rather low profile in school and elsewhere.

Like his father, he wasn't very bright at studies. His progress was slow, much slower than the rest, but he managed to finish the Really Very Basic Elementary Pre School Studies by the age of 1.2, (normal people finished it by the age of 0.01 or so [see Plutonian]) an education level that his father, Ah-moe, only managed at the age of 2. Which is really, a long long time.

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Ah-mo (on Pluto)

Hoo Ah-mo, second son of Ah-moe and Ah-pui.

Ah-mo holds the record of being thrown out of class in the first day of school (you wouldn't want to know what he did to the classroom...), and the first to be expelled from school after 2 days (you wouldn't want to know what he did to the whole school either...).

Mischievious in nature, he has refused any more schooling, or discipline by anyone. A spoilt brat, at the very least. Like Ah-moe, he has caused a lot of problems in the unfortunate town, and is almost as hated by the people as his father.

Rude, uncouth, and quite stupid, Ah-mo has been nothing but trouble everywhere he went.

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Ah-mui (on Pluto)

Hoo Ah-mui, daughter of Ah-moe and Ah-pui.

An even more obscure person than the rest.

Frightened by Ah-moe and Ah-moo, local schools had refused Ah-mui entry to classes. Not that she was interested too, after seeing what schooling did to her father and brother. Ah-mui did not become a big nuisance (fortunately for the poor townfolks who had to endure both Ah-moe and Ah-mo), besides that fact that she had picked up rather loud mannerisms from her mother, Ah-pui.

Though never formally schooled, Ah-mui showed intellectual ability exceeding that of Ah-moe and Ah-mo, both whoose denseness were difficult to match.

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Hoo Code

The main form of written media on The Ah-mo Island...

See The Hoo Code.

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Needle Weaponary

The Plutonian Needle Gun shoots a type of needle which will cause the target to lose all of his strength temporarily, and also paralyzes his body and restricts the movement of the muscles. Each needle is made in such a way that it is non-destructive, and causes minimal injury to the target shot by the needle, and on the other hand makes it easier to subdue the target shot by the needle. However, the needle also has the potential of being abused as a lethal weapon. If the needle is to strike any vital organs of the body, it would similarly paralyze that organ. And if any vital organ's muscles were restricted in their movement, it might ultimately result in death...

Similarly, there is also another weapon known as the Plutonian Needle Grenade, which fires off a massive amount of needles on explosion...

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Pluto

Pluto is a planet more than 500 times smaller than Earth in term of mass. Being the ninth planet closest to the Sun in our Solar System, it's very far away -- 5.9 billion kilometers from the Sun. That's a whopping 5,900,000,000 km, or at least 9.5 years away from Earth in terms of current Earth technology. 1 Pluto-day is approximately 6.4 Earth-days. And if a year is defined as the time for the planet to completely revolved around the sun, 1 Pluto-year is quite nearly 248.5 Earth-years.

Pluto was initially filled with quite a bit of other materials other than the 98% of solid nitrogen, including rock debris and other solidified gases. Its natural ground color is light brownish, with tinges of yellow from a mixture of slight crystal blue crytals and brownish rocks and, and is somewhat translucent. The solid nitrogen crystals turn gaseous when being warmed on exposure to the sun.

Pluto had been first conquered and rendered habitable by the famous Hoo Ah-a+50'o'+e. He was determined to make Pluto a habitable place. After deep planning with scientists, physicists and engineers of different professions, he carried out a project of massive scale -- To build a layer to completely surround the solid core of Pluto. Through the span of years, the entire planet of Pluto have been covered with a carefully engineered layer of semi-transparent material. They have even created a self-sustaining environment on it.

But he wasn't satisfied. He was amazed by the dazzling light blue crystals of nitrogen, which was seemingly contaminated by chunks of rocks and other solid materials. So he ordered another big project. Through periods of deep exacavation, all these "contaminants" have been removed, leaving the planet with a crystal blue core mixture of solid nitrogen and nitrogen gas. Henceforth, standing on the surface of Pluto does make you feel as if you're standing on some precious diamond or gem.

And all civilisation has been since built on top this sturdy shell.

It has one moon around it, known as us Earthlings as Charon. Geosynchronous with Pluto's rotation, it always presents the same face to Pluto -- that is where the Pluto Royal Palace resides. The mere 20000km separating Pluto and Charon had been long overcome with improvements in science, technology and, most importantly, magic.

Technologically very advanced, Plutonians enjoyed rather good standards of health and living. In the large cities, there were skyscrapers, multi-level expressways in the air, hovercrafts as the main public transport, underground facilities, communication stations... In the more quiet countryside, there was peace and tranquilty, with green unpolluted pastures and clean waters.

It was really a rather good place to live in...

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Pluto Royal Magic

On the planet Pluto, magic can actually be learnt from books. In fact, many scholars and teachers there believe that it is the most important part of the Pluto education system. Every year, the most powerful magicians are recruited by the Royal Family to serve the nation. Also, they are tasked with coming up with new types of magic to especially protect the Royal Family from harm and danger.

Such a conglomeration of magic that serves the Royal Family, is the Pluto Royal Magic.

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Pluto Speak

Pluto is an planet with a long long history, and with that there are also different languages Plutonians use. Out of the many, the two most common languages are Pluto-lish and Pluto-nese, with Pluto-lish being the more formal language, used in official and important events and occasions.

The language the Hoo family use is the most common variation or dialect of Pluto-nese. It is characteristically peppered with words like "hor", "lah", "er" etc., which are used to somehow express greater emphasis. Pluto-nese words are also used interchangeably sometimes for convenience.

It is astonishing that these two languages are very similar to English and Chinese in terms of language structure. It even has the same alphabet. However, its pronounciation is vastly different.

As the civilisation of Pluto has been around for much longer, this casts doubts on where the Greek on Earth had their inspiration for the letters of the alphabet. In fact, some scholars also debate if such "alien" forces could have built the seemingly-impossible pyramids. It's a mystery, and probably will remain as one.

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Plutonian

A Plutonian is very much similar to humans in many ways, though it is much superior in many ways. It has control over its bodily functions, enabling it to become survive in many conditions. When running, it can shut off the mind from other activities, like deep thinking, and concentrate on increasing the body's metabolism. Under high temperature, it can focus its mental powers to increase the rate of sweating and heat dissipation. When underwater, it can reduce its metabolism rates so much that it could stay under for up to hours without having to take another breath.

A Plutonian can now typically live to about 50 Pluto-years, or 12425 Earth-years. However, because of this system is rather hard to calculate, they have devised ther own system of determining when is considered one "year of age" to them. This system, however, is not known to us yet, but is approximately 300 Pluto-days, or nearly 2000 Earth-days. The full Pluto-year, which is the time for it to completely revolve around the sun, is given named a Hoo-year, after the royal family.

The aura of Pluto seems to grant people greater health and intelligence, and even magic to several. Hence, Plutonians are divided into classes by birth -- at the top, the Royal Hoo Family, followed by the specialised social group of magicians, scientists and engineers, then warriors and finally peasants. People born with the gift of high intelligence were trained in the realm of magic and science; people blessed with great strength or agility were trained to become fearless and powerful warriors; finally, the rest were simply peasants. They were under the supreme rule of the Royal Hoo family, and the kingship has always been within the family. There have been no complaints against such a system -- in fact, Plutonians were generally very happy with their ways of life.

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Plutonian Spit

As mentioned before, Plutonian are mostly gifted with various magic and unique abilities. One of the abilities is the Art of Venom Mastery, where the person is granted the production of various poisons within their bodies. For highly-trained personnel, such poisons could be inflicted on enemies through a simple punch. A formidable skill.

Unknown to Ah-pui, she was actually gifted with such an ability. Largely undeveloped though. This skill in the early stages actually imbued Ah-pui's spit with a pungent irritant. The smell of the viscous fluid effectively numbs the tastebuds, and causes them to emit a somewhat similar odour. Furthermore, the lingering smell of the spit causes prolonged damage to the tastebuds, making the effects stay for up to three days in Pluto, depending on the amount of the choking gas inhaled.

Of course, we Earthlings do not regenerate anywhere as fast as Plutonians, nor do we have any cures for it. Hence, a complete recovery from a spit attack may take up to a year. For some severe cases, damage was permenant and could only be alleviated by loads of mouthwash and fresheners.

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Pluto Year (PY)

PY stands for Pluto Year, used as a short form for referencing in the calender of events that took place. A "Plutonian year" is also approximately 248.5 times the length of an Earth-year.

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Twinkle Twinkle Littler Star

Originally from a nice and simple Pluto folk song, now tainted by Ah-moe's awful version.
Also see Motimedia.

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Victory Cry (Ah-moe)

"Humph!" (What else did you expect?)

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Hoo Family Weaponry

The Hoo Family has a unique set of personalised weapons which they have been using for some time. Here are the five rather interesting weapons...

Ah-moe's Toilet Plunger
After acquiring a toilet plunger in his search for a weapon, Ah-moe had decided to stick with it and use it as his own weapon. Seemingly useless and also a rather funny sight, Ah-moe's toilet plunger is actually quite useful when it is whacked onto the enemy's face, such that it sticks to his head. Such a move effectively blinds and confuses the enemy, and is particularly useful when the target doesn't think of removing it from his face and remains confused, like Ah-mo initially.

Easily lost in battles, Ah-moe carries several toilet plungers with him almost all the time.

Ah-moe has also specially created his own toilet plunger cast in 99% gold. That is his favourite one, but is mostly kept in his room and only used on rare occasions.

Ah-pui's Zi Nu Dao (子女刀)
So-called "好刀" by Ah-pui. Zi Nu Dao came about when Ah-pui was trying to inscribe "好刀" onto her favourite set of two butcher knives. Being rather uneducated, she somehow made a mistake copying from a book -- the "好" was miswritten as "子女". And hence the name of "子女刀" stuck from then, though Ah-pui has always insisted that it is "好刀"...

This pair of cleavers is also used daily to chop up meat at Ah-pui's meat stall in the market.

Ah-moo's Yu Tian Jian (雨天见)
A long sword, cast in durable steel, also known as "See You on Rainy Days" due to a rather blatant spelling error initially. Another weapon obtained during their search for weapons. Similar to Ah-mo's Too Lon Toe, the name of this sword was mis-adapted from a suppossedly powerful sword in a certain novel.

Originally a straight and sharp sword, it had gone through many battles, and have been broken many times. Because of poor skills when gluing the broken steel pieces together, as well as poor maintanence, it has become a sword with a unique shape -- jagged. And it is not just slanted. The odd shape of the sword roughly resembles a flight of stairs, as if the sword had been molten and remoulded on it.

Ah-mo's Too Lon Toe (屠龙刀)
Ah-mo's favourite weapon. A large saber, originally blunt and rusted from misuse and neglect. Similar to Ah-moo's Yu Tian Jian, the name had been chosen from another supposedly powerful saber in the same novel. Light and easy to wield, it has accompanied Ah-mo through many fights and battles.

Hence, Too Lon Toe is the one thing that Ah-mo values most. As such, Ah-mo now takes good care of his weapon, often sharpening and polishing the blade. After time, this weapon has become one of the most powerful weapons of the Hoo family.

Ah-mui's Ah-mo Whacker
Not used often, except, as the name suggests, to whack Ah-mo whenever he comes to irritate her. A normal bamboo stick originally used to hang clothes to dry, it has been sawed to a length of approximately 1.5m by Ah-mui, and has been kept it near to her to deter that annoying brother of hers.

Special Moves

Through blatent (and rather foolish) copying from others, these skills have been adapted by Ah-moe and Ah-mo as their own special moves...

Ah-moe -- Hoo Ah-moe Destroyer
A move where Ah-moe first takes out tens of toilet plungers (no one knows exactly how he could fit so many with him though). Next, he stands there for about 3 seconds, "charging", which he believes will make the plungers do more damage when thrown. Then finally, he throws out the many plungers in all directions, hoping a few will hit someone.

Ah-mo -- Ah-mo 用嘴巴 Punch
This punch is named after what Ah-mo uttered when he first tried this move (on Ah-moe, of course), which will be explained later below. The Ah-mo 用嘴巴 Punch, similar to Ah-moe's Hoo Ah-moe Destroyer, is a "charge" skill. Ah-mo stoops down and faces the floor for about 3 seconds, then rushes over to the target like a mad dog, aiming a punch at him. Like Ah-moe, Ah-mo believes that such "charging" will allow him to deal more damage with the punch.

Why would Ah-mo utter such strange words?
It was the phrase that Ah-moe was using to interrupt Ah-mo's recording when he was producing his first song album.

Ah-mo : " ... ... ... ... 我要用什么来说'爱你' ... "
Ah-moe : "Ah-mo! 用嘴巴!"
Ah-mo : "Oei!%$@$!@#! 不要吵lah! 我在record!..."
Ah-moe : "对吗... 用嘴巴!"
Ah-mo : "你走开lah!"
...

Ah-mo : " ... ... ... ... 我要用什么 ... "
Ah-moe : "用嘴巴!"
...

Ah-mo, fed up with Ah-moe's repetitive interruptions which made him record the song so many times over, aimed this punch at Ah-moe.

Eyewitnesses recall this:
"Ah-mo 用嘴巴 huh? Ah-mo 用嘴巴 huh? 死 Ah-moe... 我打死你 er!"
And with that, Ah-mo looked up from the ground and rushed over, trying to hit Ah-moe. Unfortunately for him, he didn't look at where he was running -- he crashed into a wall soon after.

But miraculously, the name stuck. And every time Ah-mo uses it, he would face the ground and say "Ah-mo 用嘴巴... Ah-mo 用嘴巴... Ah-mo 用嘴巴... Yaaaaahhhhhh!!!" and run towards his target (mostly Ah-moe). Most of the time, he will be running around in circles, not hitting anyone. That's reasonable, since you would have all the time to move away while he was looking at the floor.

At the end of the move, the confused Ah-mo usually asks this question, "Jed.. 人 leh???". Sometimes he crashes into walls and buildings; sometimes he hits someone he didn't intend to hit; sometimes, in his mad frenzy running all about, he even miraculously manages to hit the target.

That's why it is still one of the moves Ah-mo likes to use.

The Ah-mo Soldiers

The Ah-mo Island had been under constant threat by invaders and pirates, although no one is really sure what they want from that small, useless island. Hence, Ah-mo and Ah-moe had decided to recruit some soldiers from everywhere. As they were recruited rather hastily, no one has any records of their background before coming to Ah-mo Island. (They were poorly trained by their superiors, Captain Ah-moe and Commander Ah-mo, but that is another story, and shall not take further space here.)

Now, over the years, many soldiers had come and gone, but these are the few memorable ones.

The Forces of Ah-mo Island:
1) Camera Man -- No one knows what his original name is anymore, ever since he was appointed as Cameraman of the Ah-mo Island by Hoo Ah-moe. His first assignment -- to catch Ah-mo unaware, either doing stupid things or in embarassing situations. His videos, although often bad, shaky and blur, are shown in the giant 20-feet tv screen built outside every day. "Better" footages (like Ah-mo chopping off his own head by accident, Ah-mo being tricked by his soldiers, Ah-mo walking into a wall, etc) are repeated more often by requests of the soldiers themselves. An indispensable crew of the Ah-mo Island, an excellent provider of entertainment on the otherwise boring island. Now as a free-lancer, he takes embarassing clips of both Ah-moe and Ah-mo for the soldiers, though he is always available for hire by anyone who pays him more.

2) Hu Ah Mo -- The only other challenger for presidency besides Ah-mo and Ah-moe. Similar to Tan Ah-Beng, Ah Mo is a soldier who is quite frustrated with how the island is run, and has a personal hatred for Ah-mo for sharing almost the same name. He can't stand himself sharing such a name with someone as stupid as Hoo Ah-mo. He is the active leader in the secret Anti-Ah-mo Club on Ah-mo Island-- sabotaging Ah-mo, setting traps for him, making fun of him etc. A trusted and well-loved friend of all the soldiers, for that extra entertainment (at the expense of Hoo Ah-mo) whenever he's around. Now, Hu is rarely seen on the island -- he's learning new skills outside to deal with Hoo Ah-mo, and hopefully one day make him the President.

3) The "Bu" Brothers:
Bu Cong Ming (步匆名)
Bu Zhi Dao (步枝道）
Bu Dong (步董)
Bu Hao (步好)
Bu Ji De (步寄德）

4) The "Mei" Brothers:
Mei You Leh (梅友勒)
Mei You Ren (梅友仁)
Mei You Hor (梅友货)
Mei You Yong (梅友佣)
Mei Chi Fan (梅痴范)
Mei Tou Nao (梅投恼)

5) The "Wang" Brothers:
Wang Ji Liao (望寄瞭)
Wang Ji Le (望寄勒)
Wang Ji (望寄)
Wang Le (望勒)

6)A couple of people with the English surname, Ben:
Ben (笨) -- He forgot his own name... people always call him by his surname only anyway.
Hen, Ben (很笨)
Si-Zai, Ben (实在笨)
Ji-Tao, Ben (几讨笨)
Fei-Chang, Ben (非常笨）
Chao-Ji, Ben (超级笨)

7) And the "Punctuated":
Huh?
Jed...
You Meh?
You Er!

8) Allies:
GHZ -- a large man-like monster weighing a ton, capable of blocking all kinds of attacks because of her thick, resistant skin and the many layers of fat. Origin unknown. Slow in movement and attacks, but capable of causing large scale destruction, especially when she trips over. She concocts a dirty green potion which she calls "brrong", something which is greatly distasteful to Earthlings normally, but delicious to aliens, including the Hoo family, and curiously, the soldiers of Ah-mo Island.

P.S. - Only GHZ sells edible food on the Ah-mo Island. Everyone (except the Hoo family) depends on her for their daily needs for food. On the other hand, the Hoo family has a rather strange appetite. They reject the things which earthlings eat (particularly, bananas for Ah-mo), and only feast on weird things such as rotting meat and vegetables, inedible food etc. The appetite of the Hoo family will be further elaborated in the further episodes...

Ex-soldiers:
1) Tan Ah-Beng -- Originally a soldier of the Ah-mo Island. Fed up with the useless system of training, the stupidity of everyone else, the incompetent leadership of the Hoos, and constant ridicule by Ah-mo, he had decided to leave. But during an invasion of some pirates, he captured Ah-mo and surrendered him to the enemy. He and his son, Ah-Seng (see below), joined the enemy and became pirates. After months of pillaging at sea, Ah-Beng has earned the respect of fellow pirates as one of the best pirates in the region. His dream: to take over Ah-mo Island one day, and make Ah-mo his slave, to ridicule and laugh at him -- in revenge of what he had endured those days.

2) Tan Ah-Seng -- Son of Tan Ah-Beng. Brave and worthy pirate, with a determination as strong as his father.

3) Rejected Recruits :
Hoo R Mo
Hoo Ar Mo
Hoo Are Mo
Hoo Ahh Mo
Hoo Ahhh Mo
(reason for rejection: "unacceptable" names)